Post by wilderbeest on Oct 22, 2005 9:33:20 GMT
An alternative version of Bohemian Rhapsody, by my parents' friends...
A Bradfordian Cr*psody
Is this pilau rice?
Is this mango lassi?
I’m caught on a bad night.
No escape from t’ Karachi.
Open your eyes.
You’re up to your thighs in ghee.
Order a dhall, boy
With extra chilli.
Cause it makes you numb, makes you croak.
Blistered lips, blistered throat.
Any way the bhindi goes, it always really splatters
On meeee, on meeee.
Naan, just killed a man,
poppadom against his head.
Had lime pickle now he’s dead.
Naan, dinner’s just begun.
But now I’m gonna throw it all away.
Naan, ooh, ooh.
Didn’t mean to make you cry.
Seen nothing yet just see the loo tomorrow.
Curry on, curry on
Cause nothing really Madras.
Too late, my dinner’s gone.
Sends shivers down my spine.
Rectum aching all the time.
Goodbye onion bhaji, I’ve got to go.
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan, ooh, ooh.
This dupiaza is so mild I sometimes wish we’d never come here at all.
...guitar solo...
I see a little chicken tikka on the side.
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh,
pass the chutney made of mango.
Vindaloo does nicely.
Very very spicy
Meat!
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani and a naan.
(A vindaloo loo loo)
I’ve eaten baIti, somebody help me.
He’s eaten balti, get him to the lavatory.
Stand you well back ‘Case the loo is quarantined...
Here it comes.
There it goes.
Technicolor yawn.
I chunder.
No
It’s coming up again.
(There he goes).
I chunder,
it’s coming back again.
(There he goes).
Coming back again
(up again).
Here it comes again.
(No no no no no no NO).
On my knees, I’m on my knees.
On his knees, Oh, there he goes.
This vindaloo is about to wreck my guts.
Poor meee.. poor meeee.
Poor MEEEEEE!
...guitar solo...
So you think you can chunder and then feel alright?
So you try to eat curry and drink beer all night?
Oh maybe,
but now you’ll puke like a baby.
Just had to come out.
It just had to come right out in here.
...guitar solo... slow bit
Korma or dupiaza,
bhaji, naan or saag.
Nothing makes a difference,
Nothing makes a difference.
To meee...
(Any way the wind blows... .shshshsh)
-----
And it all fits if you sing it!
A Bradfordian Cr*psody
Is this pilau rice?
Is this mango lassi?
I’m caught on a bad night.
No escape from t’ Karachi.
Open your eyes.
You’re up to your thighs in ghee.
Order a dhall, boy
With extra chilli.
Cause it makes you numb, makes you croak.
Blistered lips, blistered throat.
Any way the bhindi goes, it always really splatters
On meeee, on meeee.
Naan, just killed a man,
poppadom against his head.
Had lime pickle now he’s dead.
Naan, dinner’s just begun.
But now I’m gonna throw it all away.
Naan, ooh, ooh.
Didn’t mean to make you cry.
Seen nothing yet just see the loo tomorrow.
Curry on, curry on
Cause nothing really Madras.
Too late, my dinner’s gone.
Sends shivers down my spine.
Rectum aching all the time.
Goodbye onion bhaji, I’ve got to go.
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan, ooh, ooh.
This dupiaza is so mild I sometimes wish we’d never come here at all.
...guitar solo...
I see a little chicken tikka on the side.
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh,
pass the chutney made of mango.
Vindaloo does nicely.
Very very spicy
Meat!
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani and a naan.
(A vindaloo loo loo)
I’ve eaten baIti, somebody help me.
He’s eaten balti, get him to the lavatory.
Stand you well back ‘Case the loo is quarantined...
Here it comes.
There it goes.
Technicolor yawn.
I chunder.
No
It’s coming up again.
(There he goes).
I chunder,
it’s coming back again.
(There he goes).
Coming back again
(up again).
Here it comes again.
(No no no no no no NO).
On my knees, I’m on my knees.
On his knees, Oh, there he goes.
This vindaloo is about to wreck my guts.
Poor meee.. poor meeee.
Poor MEEEEEE!
...guitar solo...
So you think you can chunder and then feel alright?
So you try to eat curry and drink beer all night?
Oh maybe,
but now you’ll puke like a baby.
Just had to come out.
It just had to come right out in here.
...guitar solo... slow bit
Korma or dupiaza,
bhaji, naan or saag.
Nothing makes a difference,
Nothing makes a difference.
To meee...
(Any way the wind blows... .shshshsh)
-----
And it all fits if you sing it!
