Post by Yeti on Sept 20, 2005 20:07:44 GMT
He he, just remembered a poem which fits in nicely here. I didn't write it, it's by a15 year old called Lisa Storey (at least she was 15 when she wrote it, she can't still be 15 since this is from 1994...)
Moaning
I don't like spiders (they don't like me)
I don't like people who dunk biscuits in tea,
I hate being left just hanging on phones
I don't like the dark, or red traffic cones,
The sight of blood just makes me go pale,
And 'in date bread' that's patently stale!
I can't abide motorists 'kangarooing' at lights,
Or BHS with their itchy blue tights,
Smug vegetarians with loony food fads,
Mobile phones and Radion ads,
I've never liked milk from the day I was born,
Or that 'Jolly Green Giant' on the tins of sweetcorn.
Those gruesome TV shows that ask you to ring
And vote for some moron who never could sing,
Or Slimfast promotions for milkshakes in pink,
With terrible actors whose lips aren't in sync,
And my dog who comes panting, and all out of breath,
After trying to bark a small hedgehog to death.
And American Evangelists who knock on our door,
Getting rid of these people is just such a chore,
I listen intently and give them a nod,
Then tell them our neighbour is searching for God!
I can't stomach peppers, I can't abide parties,
I've never liked nuts and I've never liked smarties,
I don't like wasps and I don't like bees,
And I can't stand cauliflower covered in cheese,
And I can't abide people who talk through their hat,
They moan about this and they moan about that,
Hold on a minute, what's this I see,
These sort of people sound rather like me!
_
I'm not saying I agree with any of that by the way; I don't want to offend any vegetarians or Evangelists if there are any out there! Although things with lips out of sync do annoy me greatly!
Moaning
I don't like spiders (they don't like me)
I don't like people who dunk biscuits in tea,
I hate being left just hanging on phones
I don't like the dark, or red traffic cones,
The sight of blood just makes me go pale,
And 'in date bread' that's patently stale!
I can't abide motorists 'kangarooing' at lights,
Or BHS with their itchy blue tights,
Smug vegetarians with loony food fads,
Mobile phones and Radion ads,
I've never liked milk from the day I was born,
Or that 'Jolly Green Giant' on the tins of sweetcorn.
Those gruesome TV shows that ask you to ring
And vote for some moron who never could sing,
Or Slimfast promotions for milkshakes in pink,
With terrible actors whose lips aren't in sync,
And my dog who comes panting, and all out of breath,
After trying to bark a small hedgehog to death.
And American Evangelists who knock on our door,
Getting rid of these people is just such a chore,
I listen intently and give them a nod,
Then tell them our neighbour is searching for God!
I can't stomach peppers, I can't abide parties,
I've never liked nuts and I've never liked smarties,
I don't like wasps and I don't like bees,
And I can't stand cauliflower covered in cheese,
And I can't abide people who talk through their hat,
They moan about this and they moan about that,
Hold on a minute, what's this I see,
These sort of people sound rather like me!
_
I'm not saying I agree with any of that by the way; I don't want to offend any vegetarians or Evangelists if there are any out there! Although things with lips out of sync do annoy me greatly!